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Treacle Heart

poetry & prose by HLR

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Tag: alcoholic

Fear and Loathing in North London

37 days clean and I lapsed. It was too easy, I gave in too easily. “You really just want a … More

AA, addiction, alcoholic, anger, behaviour, borderline, BPD, depression, drinking, drugs, habits, hate, lapse, relapse, writing

Any Excuse

Monday = Monday Club (UK’s biggest pub chains and others cut the price of drinks), sometimes a Bank Holiday Tuesday … More

AA, addiction, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholism, booze, Britain, Broken Britain, drinking, drugs, life, UK

Fear & Loathing in North London

I’m really struggling today – struggling to deal with this sickening sense of self-loathing, struggling to let go of things, struggling to accept … More

addiction, alcoholic, anger, anxiety, bipolar, bipolar disorder, borderline, BPD, depression, diary, ffs, heartbreak, inspiration, journal, London, motivational quotes, paranoia, personality disorder, positivity, psychosis, quotes, recovery, relapse, self harm, suicidal, survival, trigger, writing

22 & Brave

‘Forever 21’ is almost over. It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m not feeling good about it at all. I’m going … More

abuse, addict, addiction, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholism, anxiety, binge, bipolar, birthday, BPD, change, drugs, drunk, help, journal, mad sad bad, mistakes, pain, Paris, personality disorder, recovery, rock and roll, running away, sex, stress, thinking, why, why why why, writing, wtf

Easter Sunday

As usual, I have been thinking about who I am. I was just sitting up on the roof, looking at … More

AA, addiction, alcoholic, anxiety, bipolar, bipolar disorder, blah, borderline, BPD, Christianity, crisis, death, depression, drunk, Easter, existence, existentialism, fuckedup, help, J H C, kill me, life, meta, philosophy, psychosis, quandary, scared, suicidal, suicide, thinking, why, why why why, whyyyyyyy, writing, wtf

mad, bad, sad girl

After 46 days booze-free, yesterday I got blind drunk and I am not pleased about it at all. I don’t … More

alcohol, alcoholic, anxiety, bad habits, bipolar, blackout, BPD, depression, drinking, drunk, memory loss, mess, party, scared, shame, sober, sobriety, why, why why why, whyyyyyyy, wtf

Darling, darling, your head is a mess…

I’ve done it again. That is, I’ve made the same mistake for the thousandth fucking time, under the alcohol-induced illusion … More

alcoholic, anxiety, bipolar, birthday, borderline, BPD, crisis, depression, family, identity, questions, sex
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