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Treacle Heart

poetry & prose by HLR

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Category: #655321

Fear and Loathing in North London

37 days clean and I lapsed. It was too easy, I gave in too easily. “You really just want a … More

AA, addiction, alcoholic, anger, behaviour, borderline, BPD, depression, drinking, drugs, habits, hate, lapse, relapse, writing

Autumn Leaves

My life recently seems to be comprised largely of clichés. As a writer, this is disastrous. Clichés are vile. Cliche … More

addiction, alcohol, anxiety, art, Bob Dylan, borderline, BPD, depression, drugs, London, music, overheard, recovery, rehab, shock, trauma, writing

Frazzled

“Love is merely a madness; and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as madmen … More

AA, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, anxiety, bipolar, blogging, BPD, confusion, depression, diary, madness, plays, quotations, quotes, sad, shakespeare, sober, sobriety

121015

First day of rehabilitation and detoxification Yesterday I looked after my niece and nephew in the morning, which was lovely … More

AA, addict, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, anxiety, bipolar, blog, blogging, borderline, BPD, change, depression, diary, drinking, drugs, ffs, journal, life, pubs, sober, sobriety, strength

Again

I’ve got to quit drinking. Again. Too many people have told me so: family, friends, acquaintances, psychiatrist, GP, social worker, liaison officer, strangers, … More

#655321, AA, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, anxiety, borderline, change, depression, drugs, heartbreak, help, recovery, sad, sobriety, suicide

#655321(2)

Days sober: 1 :'( 24 hours since my last drink. F*ck. F*ck, f*ck, f*ck it all. F*ck. Things that are good … More

#655321, AA, abandonment, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, anxiety, beauty, bipolar, blogging, books, borderline, BPD, diary, family, fml, forgetting, health, journal, life, lonely, memory, mental health, mental illness, mindfulness, miss you, mood, music, nails, pain, photography, recovery, relapse, round 2, ughhhh ffs, writing

God is a DJ

I’m so sorry. To you, to myself, to my friends, to my family. I crumbled. I caved. I’m writing this … More

#655321, AA, alcohol, alcoholism, anxiety, bipolar, borderline, BPD, death, depression, diary, drug addiction, drugs, fear, heartbreak, help me, music, paranoia, relapse, sobriety, suicidal, suicide, writing

#655321

Days sober: 32. I have been sober for one month. I am relieved, I’m relieved that I made it. I almost … More

#655321, AA, addict, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, anxiety, bars, boring, clubs, dating, depression, drinking, ffs, fml, food, health, London, men, pubs, reading, sober, sobriety, struggle, summer, weather, whyyyyyyyyy, Wilde, wine

Plans & Weeds

Days sober: 28 – four weeks. It’s okay in the day, I’m staying busy Tied up enough so I don’t have … More

#655321, addiction, alcohol, anxiety, art, beauty, bipolar, borderline, BPD, buildings, cemeteries, death, depression, existence, existentialism, future, graveyards, life, London, lyrics, mortality, music, nature, paranoia, planning, plans, sober, summer, things to do, thinking, writing

C O L O U R

Days sober: 23 This morning’s appointment with my GP was uneventful. MRI scan was normal, bloods were normal, lithium level was 0.6. … More

addiction, art, beauty, bipolar, blahhh, blogging, blogs, borderline, BPD, colour, creativity, depression, emotions, lit mag, miss you, mood, NHS, poetry, productivity, work, writer, writing

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