The Least I Can Do

Bathe exfoliate epilate
lather skin in cocoa butter
Feel how soft my legs are!
I demand, limbs in your face
Very smooth my darlin’, you say
to which I laugh and say Thaaanks!

before swiftly hiding myself away
in unflattering, oversized clothes
lest I conjure more attention from you
than my self-loathing brain can take
lest I encourage a reaction from you
that my broken body cannot satiate

(every time I fail you my heart breaks)

But I made an effort, didnt I!
I made an effort in the first place
when all I wanted to do was disappear
or hide or cry or run away, I made an effort
just for you and that makes me a Good Girlfriend, right?

At least for today, right?

At least for tonight?

Can I try again tomorrow? I promise, I’ll try so hard
to do another thing for you tomorrow, something
simple, basic, normal, a standard thing that
girlfriends do, that I really want to do,
for the man I love, a minor act that
will take me so much effort
that will siphon all of my
limited energy
something so
paltry and
ordinary
that it’ll be
nowhere near
nowhere close
enough to make up
for all of things that you
have done, still do and will
continue to do for me, happily…

I promise I will always try to do
whatever I possibly can for you;
even though it’ll probably be the
very least you deserve when, really,
you deserve the best of everything;
you deserve the whole world,
you deserve a better girl.

 

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