14 days of self-isolation,
not because you are infected
with the COVID-19 virus
but because you:
are seriously depressed // don’t want to go to work // hate everyone // NEED to finish. writing. your. fucking. novel. // want to read Ducks, Newburyport // like the idea of your boyfriend leaving snacks-cigarettes-drinks on the other side of the door to your quarantine room and having to do nothing in return // want to find out how long your armpit hair can actually grow and discover, once and for all, exactly how many times in row you can make yourself come // want to read In Search of Lost Time // truly believe you’d do well, no, THRIVE in prison but want to practice (just in case) // seriously need some fucking sleeeeeep, goddamn it // haven’t seen any of The Hobbit or LOTR films // could really do with a drink and drug detox // WOULD GET THE WHOLE BED TO YOURSELF (!!!) // don’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day // are bored of the pub and all of the people in it // are safer indoors (outside = creeps-men-danger-trouble-triggers-temptations) // probably have coronavirus anyway because you feel like death warmed up // want to be left the fuck alone for once in your life, Jesus H Christ! // have forgotten a lot of French and want to relearn // want to read À la recherche du temps perdu // have got SO many words in you that you need to get out but life keeps getting in the way // are so sick of constantly TRYING: trying all of the fucking time: trying to be alive-human-normal-sane: trying to be good: trying to be perfect and you really don’t want to try anymore // are interested to find out who (if anyone) missed you.
TL;DR: Isolation sounds heavenly. If you’re infected, kiss me.
In this poem I’m trying to portray the ridiculousness of my mental illnesses, the disordered cognitive processes which make me think that contracting a potentially fatal infection would be preferable to having to do “normal people things” i.e being alive in a world of pain and misery.
My younger brother (my favourite human in the whole world) has just spent a month in Thailand, is currently in Malaysia, and is flying to Australia this evening; though he’s super fit and healthy, I’m terrified that he’ll get sick. Please, whoever you are, wherever you are, take the necessary precautions to protect yourself from catching this nasty virus, particularly if you are vulnerable (have a respiratory disease, heart conditions, weak immune system, underlying health conditions, are elderly or have travelled abroad recently). Stay safe out there, kids. Thank you for reading ♥♥♥