Earlier this week I was involuntarily detained under the Mental Health Act. I had a severe psychotic episode which resulted in the police obtaining a section 135 warrant to forcibly remove me from my partner’s home. I stayed locked in a padded cell under police guard until I was assessed at the hospital. I answered all of the assessment questions “correctly” and miraculously managed to persuade them to let me go.
I’m out now and I’m so relieved to be out. For a while, there was a very real possibility that I was going to die alone in the hospital in which I was born. The moment I stepped outside as a free woman, I burst into tears. It was an incredible feeling, one which I hope I can one day find the words to describe.
I am confused about what exactly happened, am in a state of complete shock, in a lot of pain physically, and feel very ashamed right now, but my partner is looking after me and I’m okay. None of my family or friends have any knowledge of this incident and I plan to keep it that way. But I know that I’ll need to write about it soon, to get “it” all out of me, to make sense of this nonsensical thing that happened to me. Writing this post is the start of me accepting and understanding what happened.
The main thing is: I’m out and I’m okay.
Thank you to those who have posted lovely comments on here recently, they are so very appreciated and will be replied to soon <3 But for now I just need a bath, a book and bed.