I’ve made the decision to transcribe my old diaries. I’m going to type up the important parts of my notebooks (e.g dates of major incidents), save a few choice pages in case they are needed for evidence in the future and then burn the rest.

I am frightened to face them but I feel that it is necessary; I am moving out of this flat in 2 weeks and I don’t like dragging all these secrets around with me from place to place, a locked box full of nightmares. And wherever I end up I don’t want anybody to find these notebooks, to read them while I’m alive or to have to rifle through all this shit when I’m dead. Plus I think it’ll be helpful to find out when/where/how/why exactly my sicknesses began, and be able to make a timeline of my mental health.

So it’s time to start — at the beginning, of course.

Monday 24th October 2005.

Here we go.

Forget everything and remember
For everything a reason
Forgive everybody and remember…