Scars

[Part of the Body Series]

“Have you ever counted them?”
“No.”
“You should count them,”
“Why?”
“It’ll be interesting,”
“I don’t think I can…”
“Try!”

Forehead: 2: both obvious:

one: on my hairline: toddler: ran into edge of glass table: “the blood came down like a sheet”: ruined good dress: got a sticker for being brave

two: don’t want to talk about it: always say it was a cat

Right brow: horizontal red line: mistaken identity: face smashed into wall: pencil over it so it looks like my eyebrow

Cheek: 1: a daily reminder: don’t want to talk about it: bastards

Chin: a few: childhood accidents and chicken pox and acne

Behind my right ear/on my neck: operation: the nice doctor cut the badness out: I could hear the scraping and slicing and stitching from the inside, as if amplified: I saw the badness in a jar: she wouldn’t let me keep it: she wouldn’t let me keep my own badness

Hands: lots of tiny ones: fights and IVs and blood tests and getting stabbed with a corkscrew

Left arm: this is difficult: I’ve never counted them: okay: I can’t do it: yes I can

upper arm: 1 bad one: stab wound: still red and open: will be my widest scar

crook of elbow: 18 bad ones

forearm: approx 20 bad ones: I’m sorry I can’t bear to count them

wrist: too many to count: they merge into a mess: one in the shape of an E: one in the shape of a T: they made these shapes themselves: fuck: breathe

Right arm:

crook of elbow: 9 bad ones:

forearm: 6 (7?) bad ones: 1 bad knife wound (old): 3 vertical from wrist to elbow: Clipper lighter smiley face burn (girl gang)

wrist: 1 bad (old): covered with tattoo: hate the scars on my arms: idiot: wish someone told me to cut where nobody could see

Right hip: 3: inch long: horizontal: perfectly spaced: I learned the above:

Legs: learning to shave with a cheap razor:

in identical spots on both shins: accidentally took chunks out

right ankle: another shaving mishap: all the way up the side: picked those scabs for weeks

right knee: that same scar that everyone has from that time they fell off their bike when they were 6: you know the one.

“And that’s all the counting I can manage. Interesting enough?”

[Read more: Piercings, Tattoos, Bones and Discovery]