​Friends in Low Places

A stranger came up to me one night on the South Bank to tell me that she always sleeps with a loaded gun under her pillow in case of intruders and that she wakes up every morning feeling pissed off that nobody tried to break into her flat because she is desperate for the opportunity to “legally” kill someone so that she can know what it feels like to take a life. At the time I was too high and apathetic to appreciate her story and didn’t give her the attention she deserved. But now I wish that I’d asked for her address. Then maybe we both could’ve got what we wanted.

The moral of the story: never cast someone off because they seem crazier than yourself – their lamentable lunacy may, in fact, become useful to you one day.

[Originally published: The Magic Black Book 16/03/17]

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