Shine On

• I am still alive – celebrate or curse this fact as appropriate
• In September I spent over a week in hospital after my kidneys, liver and pancreas simultaneously decided to stop working properly. Apparently I need to start looking after myself, whatever that means
• I’ve moved into my new flat! I am yet to have broadband installed which I hope explains the lack of activity on this site recently, but I should be back to posting regularly by the end of the month (unless of course BT manage to cock it all up)
• After 3 years of false promises, imaginary waiting lists and consistent disappointment I have finally met with a psychologist who has agreed to take me on for DBT and mentalisation therapy! I feel like this is my last chance at having a real life. It’s going to be intense and I’m pretty scared about the whole thing but I’m going to try. Dr P said it’s not going to be easy for me to unlearn all of my destructive behaviours and rewire my brain with healthy thinking skills but he’s hopeful that I will at least learn something
• I’ve been writing loads. Since this is turning out to be a mad transitional period in my little life I’m determined that some mad new material will come out of it – watch this space.

The photo is from a party I was at on Friday morning. As usual I was the only female present and the boys were boring me to tears talking about paving driveways so I started flicking through this magazine. The headline let me drift far away on a thought-cloud while they banged on about the price of petrol. Manchester United fanzine – art deco-style earrings – rum and coke – DVD case covered in speed.