250515

Mood: 6 out of 10 – I am feeling vaguely optimistic today. I am psyching myself up to grab Recovery by the bollocks and start my new life. But it is too early to accurately note my mood; as always, it is subject to dramatic change.

Reading:

Watching: The History Boys (film, adapted by Alan Bennett from his play of the same name) (2006), dir. Nicholas Hytner.

Listening to: Cold Fact by Sixto Rodriguez (1970)

Drinking: cold coffee – it remains uncertain as to whether I will drink alcohol today. I hope I don’t. I want a drink and I don’t want a drink. And so the battle wages on…

Eating: a Kit-Kat and an apple.

Smoking: JPS silver.

Buying: tickets for the Alexander McQueen Savage Beauty exhibition at the V&A. To say I am excited would be an understatement. I love Lee McQ for so many reasons – I am fascinated by his life and his character, by his mind, by his death, by his legacy. And I totally adore his work, and have done since the iconic skull-print scarf – I can only dream of the day that I wear a piece by Alexander McQueen. He is a genius.

Pre-ordering: The new St Tropez In Shower Lotion 200ml. After spending half the year looking like a vampire, I like to look healthy in the summer and enjoy having a tan. But my skin is really sensitive and looking sunkissed is definitely not worth damaging your skin irreparably or contracting skin cancer, so I am continuing to follow my suntan mantra: Bottle is best. High SPF + St Tropez fake tan = happy skin.

Trying: to stay awake, stop procrastinating and get on with my day!

Giving: thought to volunteering at the Oxfam bookshop in Muswell Hill, or the Red Cross bookshop in Palmers Green – but I’m not sure if I’m mentally well enough right now.

Worrying: about going back to sleeping on the floor – sleep is so important to my wellbeing, and I shall miss not having a bed or my own personal space. I am nervous about my housing situation in general, as usual.

Dreaming: of moving to Paris – my health and my father’s health permitting, I plan to be living in Paris by this time next year.

Loving: you, always.