I didn’t expect to see you this evening. Your presence made me feel odd. I felt safe and uncomfortable all at once, as I usually do when you’re around. Hearing your voice made me want to drink so I decided it would be wise if I left.
As I was walking away I could feel your eyes on me. Your gaze bore into my back, burning through my winter coat, piercing my skin and then smothering my lungs. I kept my head up and started down the road. But all the while, I was thinking,
“Run after me. Run after me. Come on, you bastard, don’t just stand there, come after me. Run after me. Please run after me…”
Of course, I never looked back.
And of course, you didn’t come after me.
And that makes me a lot sadder than it should.
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I think, and I might be totally wrong here, but you are learning the biggest lesson I have learned so far in life (and only very recently). No one can or is going to come rescue you.