Old habits die hard.

I met him a few weeks ago. He is 29 and our fathers have been friends for years. We can’t keep our eyes off each other. Even when I make a conscious effort to ignore him I can feel his eyes on me.

I understand what it means to want someone… But I don’t want him, not him, not his brain, not his soul, just his body, just sex. Dancing with him on NYE was almost too much to bear. The sexual tension between us is verging on ridiculous as everyone around us has picked up on it, everyone including his pregnant girlfriend. Yep. Pregnant girlfriend. Fuck.

He phones me at least 15 times a day. He says he wants me. He said that he is not actually romantically or emotionally involved with the pregnant lady, that it was a one night stand and now he’s going to be a daddy. He was angry that I left the pub with another guy last night. He says that we don’t know what the future holds, that we can have a future. Of course, I don’t believe him, but it’s nice to hear.

I keep telling him that I can’t do this, I can’t get involved. The pregnant lady wants me dead. Everyone has told me to stay away from him… his friends, mutual friends, his family, my family, random drinkers in the pub.

I know that I am walking straight into trouble. I am pretty much asking to be beaten up by the women in the pub. But I can’t seem to leave it. I enjoy receiving messages from him in which he begs me to talk to him. I believe the term is ‘smug.’

I always go for bad boys. And bad boys always go for me. I suppose we are all searching for someone whose demons play well with our own. And right now his demons are dancing with mine.

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