Oh when you look at me like that my darling, what did you expect?
I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck,
or I did last time I checked…
One of the worst symptoms of my mental illnesses, one which I am unfortunate enough to experience, is memory loss. Certain things from the distant past (my childhood, school days), I manage to dredge up from the bottom of my brain. Other old memories I can recall with ease, perhaps because I’ve told the story to so many people, so many times. Sometimes I surprise myself: visiting an area I used to frequent with an old boyfriend can evoke memories that I didn’t even know I had. But other times, most of the time, I am at a loss.
My short-term memory truly suffers. I can be on the train and suddenly have no idea where I’m going, which stop I’m meant to get off at, which pub I said I’d meet my friend in, which friend I’m actually meeting. I receive an email saying “Please come down to HR to collect your payslip” and I stand up and walk out of the office door, and then realise I have no idea what I’m doing. Where was I going? I can’t remember if I’ve eaten. I can’t remember if I’ve taken my medication. I can’t remember if I paid my bills.
The novel which I’m writing next month is about my life, my experiences, the strange occurrences that took place during May of this year. If you’ll remember, I had the most crippling writer’s block and I had my final university essays and exams to write. I am going to write about my inability to write. But, I can’t remember a lot of what happened in May because I didn’t write it down (because I couldn’t physically write). So now I’m kinda fucked when it comes to content. I just can’t remember. I lost my mind in May and it doesn’t look like it’s planning to return any time soon.
My mother is a hypnotherapist. I sent her a crazed text message this morning:
Can you do regressive hypnotherapy? Like, take me back 6 months and help me to remember things? Does such a thing even exist?! Help! X
I do not believe in regressive hypnotherapy.
Thanks, Ma. Really helpful. So, darling followers, allow me to pose a question to you…
Do any of you have any personal or secondhand experience or knowledge of regressive therapy? Or indeed any techniques for transporting oneself back in time to remember certain events?
Any help/feedback/thoughts would be much appreciated xxx