Erm… The End?

Somehow, against all odds, I have done it.

I have done it. I have completed my undergraduate degree.

This has been the most emotionally challenging year of my life (so far).

To be totally honest, to say that the past three years have been difficult would be an understatement.

I have struggled in indescribable ways, with my mental health, my personal relationships, my living arrangements (or lack thereof), my journey of self-discovery.

My boundaries have been moved, my morals questioned, my patience tried, my limits pushed, my faith tested, my expectations exceeded, my heart smashed into millions of pieces.

I have been simultaneously embraced and abandoned.

I have had a lot of help and support, but I have done this all on my own.

I am in a state of disbelief. So many people wanted me to fail. So many people expected me to fail. But I’ve given it my all, done the best I can possibly do. Now we must wait for the Sub-Board of examiners to consider my extenuating circumstances in light of the work that I have submitted this year, and decide on which degree classification I deserve to receive.

Freedom is strange. I sort of don’t know what to do with myself. Obviously I have a million things to do (find a job, find somewhere to live, loads of admin/housekeeping shit) but I’d kinda just like to watch films and drink wine and sleep. Oh, to sleep, what a joy!

More thoughts to come in due course but for now, I would like to read a book for pleasure, enjoy a nice meal and experience what it feels like to sleep without albatross-style academic pressure slung casually around my neck, because after 17 years in the British Education system, I cannot remember what that type of carefree sleep feels like.

One new message received
From: DAD

Guess what. Gonna live to be one hundred. Shadows on my lung are only scarring from 2000 operation. Soooo relieved. XXXX

 

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To: DAD

Best news ever! So happy and relieved! Also, I handed in my final essay this afternoon. My undergraduate degree is officially over, finished, done, complete. See how many synonyms my English degree has taught me? 25k well spent methinks. So, my academic career is over (for now) ;) LOVE YOU XXXX

 

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To: DAD

Erm Dad, I’ve been trapped in the British Education system for 17 years. FUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!! 17 YEARS!!! Wow. Took me 17 years to escape but now I kinda don’t want to leave it. Actually, maybe now is a good time to leave because Michael Gove is a monumental bellend. That is all. X

 

One new message received
From: DAD

Don’t for one minute think your education is over. You never stop learning, it’s just the end of formal cariculums and exams. Happy learning experiences! Love you. Cariculums doesn’t look right. Is that how it’s spelt or have I still got that to learn? ;)