Today, I feel good again. I wrote a lot of poetry last night which suggests that I’m on the verge of mania but my medication won’t let me become fully-fledged manic. After a down period like the one I experienced for the past few days, I get a creative burst of productivity and positivity which makes up for the depressive episode. During the depression though, it’s hard to remember that out of bad comes good.
I’m going to spend the day working on my critical edition of Augusta Webster’s uncompleted sonnet sequence Mother and Daughter. My deadline for the completed critical edition is early in the new year so I must get back to working on it, having neglected it for three weeks. I’m also going to eat breakfast for the first time in months, to get my energy up. My CPN says whatever I put, or rather don’t put, into my body affects my medication so I must look after myself. In the back of my mind I am exhausted and would love to spend the day wallowing in bed, but there aren’t enough hours in the day for that. I must be positive and productive. Let’s go!