My partner has just left. Today, I feel positive. I have lots of studying to get on with, and lots of things to plan and do, to keep myself busy. The best thing when dealing with depression is to distract oneself so you forget how much pain you’re in. Tomorrow I have to hand in 2000 words of my dissertation and then see the Community Psychiatric Nurse at 11am. We have plenty to discuss, so I await our meeting with anticipation and wide eyes.
I wanted to go into town today to the big Waterstones in Charing Cross to buy my course books, but alas I am feeling lethargic and can’t face the train journey(s). I will go during the week instead when I have a day off. I quit my job as a promotional model for the UK’s leading optician: I just can’t do it right now, it’s too much pressure, and I can replace the money lost from this job with money gained from my other jobs. I think it was the right thing to do, after being so ill at work a couple of weeks ago it was proving to be detrimental to my health and reminded me of bad times, so I’m glad that I don’t have to do it anymore.
I’m looking forward to a week of hard graft and studying, and then back to London on the weekend for work to earn some money for Christmas. I’ll also get to see my family and friends which will be nice. Bring it on!