On Death, and Wishing the Worst

Think of your worst enemy– the person who hurt you the most, the one who destroyed you, the person who bullied you, made you cry, made you question your existence, even made you contemplate suicide. The one who broke your heart, treated you like dirt, kicked you when you were down.

In times of anger or despair we can say things we don’t mean, and wish horrible things to happen to the person we so severely dislike. We may wish that karma swiftly gets involved and punishes the person with pain equal or worse to the pain that they caused you. We may wish something awful to happen to them: unspeakable things, which you feel awful about for thinking in your head yet alone actively wishing for. You may even wish death on that person.

I have recently been trying to describe my illness to my partner as my mental health has declined. I often say to him, “I wish you understood but I hope to God that you never do.” Because although it would be easier if others around me had some experience of my daily struggle I honestly wish that nobody ever experiences this. This revelation led me to discover that I would never wish this illness upon anyone: not even the one who broke my heart, destroyed my life, caused my health to decline as a direct result of their actions, hurt me in indescribable ways. I would never wish this upon anyone.

So what would I wish upon that person? It’s common for people to say, “I wish they’d have a car crash– not a serious one where anyone gets hurt, but just serious enough so that they have to pay a fortune to fix their car and realise that their bad luck is a result of their bad karma,” or “I wish they don’t get that promotion because they don’t deserve the success and money because of what they did to me,” or “I wish that someone takes a really unflattering photo of her and then everyone criticises her on the internet so she can see what bullying feels like!”

In cases of serious hurt, one may wish death upon that person. But really, I believe that wishing death upon someone is an act of gracious kindness, and so should not be wished upon your enemy. Death is peaceful, and is the ultimate form of escapism from a world of increasing trouble and hardship. You may wish death upon your 98 year old grandmother who has crippling pain, chronic illness, depression, debt and Alzheimer’s to boot. You may pray that God relieves her of her pain and takes her away to a better place. Why would I wish this on my enemy? Why would I wish that the one who hurt me so badly gets a “get out of jail free” card and quickly escapes the vagaries of life? Surely you’d want to keep your enemy on this planet as long as possible so that they can live everyday of their life remembering their wrongdoings and trying to become a better person so that they never hurt another soul again. You cannot learn lessons when you are dead.

Call me bitter, but wishing death upon someone is too kind. Wish good things for them:  wish them the best of luck in their future relationships, pray to God that they don’t cause anymore pain to others, that they find peace within themselves, that they realise their mistakes and adjust their life accordingly. Wish that they never come across you again, wish that they leave you alone, wish that they stop creeping into your nightmares, wish that they never hurt you again, wish that they disappear from your memory, wish that they disappear, but never wish that they die. As well as tempting fate (always be careful what you wish for because you just might get it), you’d never be able to live with yourself if the person did actually die: even the skeptics among us, who don’t believe in hocus pocus, who would convince themselves that it is pure coincidence that their enemy is dead a week after they wished for it would surely feel a little unconsciously uncomfortable with the fact that death has actually occurred.

What do you wish for your enemy, or the person who hurt you most in the world?

16 thoughts on “On Death, and Wishing the Worst

  1. I am deeply concerned and sad about what you write. No, I do not say you are bitter, I have no sympathy for you nor do I find you stupid I think it’s basically infinitely sad how you can feel that way. I’m not feeling well at the moment either and I’m being hurt. But no matter how strong the pain is, my worldview does not contain any evil intent. No matter how much evil, anger and pain there is in the world, I have no enemies. I have never had enemies. I have always felt loved by all because I always loved myself.
    Very irritating are the feelings that there are may be people who hate me, because I wonder why? Because you can inflict pain without knowing it, that’s why. Are you guilty then? A question that torments me, because I think so, you are guilty without knowing. Maybe that’s why my bad state is justified. Should that be the punishment? Money, humiliation and a broken heart? Then it should be so, even if this punishment will not arrive with me, because in my world there are no punishments only encouragement.
    No, I have never wanted anyone bad and I will never do so in this life, at least I will get that dignity. I love people and it makes me incredibly sad if someone hates me. But this will be a new experience in my life and therefor I will be thankful. Because I can be proud that my world, my naiv, childish world of romantic and love, of butterflies and love is the better one, because it is god´s world. I wish warmth and love arriving inside your body. I wish you someone you can trust on, someone you open your heard for, even if there is a risk by getting hurt. I wish you a joyful rest of life!

  2. There’s a woman I hate, she doesn’t even know I exist, we’ve never actually met, or what she’s taken from me, but she took everything good and loving in life away from me. Because of her I think about suicide multiple times per day, I’ve started to become an alcoholic, I even reached the breaking point and attempted an overdose, all because of her. I wish her destroyed and dead, I fantasize about it almost as often as I think about ending my life, which is constant anymore. I pray to any deity out there to make her suffer, to lose everything, and then have her die. Seems the only thing keeping me alive anymore is my wish to see this whore dead.

    • I feel you. I absolutely despise my ex, I wish her to die as well. She does not deserve a chance to live this life, to do to other people what she’s done to me. I have attempted suicide and almost succeeded . But I was just hurting at the moment when I attempted that and wasn’t thinking clearly. But fortunately I survived ,but now I live with this hate I have for her in my heart every day. And even if she does die say within the next 5 seconds, I will continue to hate her and be glad that she died, and will continue to think about what she did, and still hate her for it. I wish that part would go away. I would probably have a little more satisfaction if I knew she died of a slow and painful death, but it would still be the same I’d still have that hate in my heart, just wish I knew how to get rid of it.

  3. My sibling knew I was still in love with my ex, who lives 3 states away, and had never met anyone in my family in person. She went out of her way to contact him, meet him, and get in a sexual and romantic relationship with him, knowing it would devastate me. She hid the relationship, and when I accidentally found out, she told our whole family that she knew I was still in love with him, but she liked him and it’s not fair for her to not be happy even though it would hurt me. She didn’t just hurt me, she completely violated all sense of family and loyalty. Our family is broken and will never be fixed because of her complete selfishness and utter lack of any form of morality whatsoever. For the very first time in my life, at 40 years of age, I truly HATE someone. I HATE her and I truly wish she would die in the most horrible and painful way possible. I never thought I would be capable of this type of malevolence, but this type of betrayal can not be forgiven, especially since she is not sorry for her actions or the pain she has caused to me or the family. She only cares that she is happy.

  4. I definitely wish death upon people who are causing harm to others. Not because they deserve a free pass, but because they people they are hurting do. Some people might be able to have a change of heart or mend their ways, but some people just continue to poison and harm other people’s lives continuously, spreading misery and fear, and often, they get away with it because there is little our world does to give agency to victims.
    I say, yes: karma kill the fuckers causing our problems. Maybe they don’t deserve the peace of death, maybe they do, but I know for damn sure that the people around them deserve a life of peace without these nasty people.

  5. Want my ex-boss to die. Worked for the same company 16 years, did fine, new boss comes in, decides I don’t meet his “standards” and boom, out on my ass. By far the biggest douchetard I have ever known. Want him to die as slowly, painfully, and horribly as possible. Maybe in a fire. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  6. I wish this “friend” i knew for a long time dies a prolonged and relentlessly agonizing death.

  7. I’d never wish death on someone, but I honestly tried and they would not change, no matter what. I wish that bully in my class, Morgan Farley, would just die and disappear from my world.

  8. my ex girlfriend broke my heart so bad twice and I want her to suffer in pain miserable pain I really want her to suffer she made me suffer for the past 3 years

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